No John, I've never been to Michigan

Here is a special treat! I found it in the archives of an old 1 giga bite SD card. Isn't little Johnny so cute in his glow in the dark onesie pajamas!? Before this photo was taken, I believe he took out the garbage, which I'm sure surprised the neighbors :) I mean, imagine seeing a full grown man in onsie PJ's running around in the snow with a trash bag.  Oh wait, you don't have to imagine it, you have a very detailed visual (see photo above)!

In honor of the PJ's, this post will give you an inside look into our sleep lives. For example: Last night John went to bed early and I stayed up late. Here's a list of pro's and con's to this situation:

  • If we don't go to bed at the same time, John always lays diagnol on the bed which makes it hard for me to get in.
  • Once I muster up the strength to push his legs over, he's already warmed up my side!
  • I can talk to him and he responds–sleepstyle.
  • When I scratch his back he makes really funny mhmm sounds. It starts out deep, and then when I make it up to the shoulder massage it's a mmmmhmmmmm (much more high pitched).
  • I can cuddle up to him and he doesn't even mind.
  • Sometimes we carry on crazy conversations and somehow I get incoorporated into his dreams.
  • He usually does something crazy right when I get in bed (Last night he sat straight up super fast and yelled, "WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO PROVE!?" It scared the bejeezers out of me! I'm not even kidding).
As you can see, the pros outweigh the cons just about exponentially! Okay maybe not exponentially, but you get the point.

According to John, I'm "a fire ball from hell" in the night. He says this referring to my temperature, and so every night he holds me for a few minutes until I start "heating up," and then he creates a barrier between us with the sheets to keep my heat away from him. Rude, right!?

He is also a notorious blanket stealer; I'm used to it now though. I have learned to hold the blanket nice and tight on my side, even while asleep, to prevent him from taking it.

I will never forget the first time John talked to me in his sleep. It was in the first few months of our marriage. And you have to remember at the time, I thought he was awake, because he told me previously that he didn't sleep talk. It went something like this:

Me: "John? Honey sweet cheeks? Baby darling, I had a bad dream and I can't go back to sleep."
John: "You'll be fine."
Me: "But John, I'm a little teensy bit scared."
John: "Well you shouldn't be, after all you did go to Michigan State," he says in a matter of fact voice.
Me: (Still thinking he's awake) "Hahaha. Where did that come from. I've never even been to Michigan..."
John: "Stop messing with me," he says a little annoyed. "You and Dane went their a few years ago."
Me: "No I didn't, stop joking around John, I'm serious," I said, feeling very confused. "And who the crap is Dane?"
John: "I can't believe you don't remember such a big chunk of your past!"

The conversation continued to the point that I was nearly convinced that I'd attended Michigan State. John was very adamant, and he wasn't very nice about it either. After a while I was tired enough to fall back asleep. In the morning he didn't remember much about it. 

And that's when I realized that my sweet cheeks takes out his anger on me while he's asleep, because he's to nice to do it while he is conscious.

Sleeping in the bed with John every night is an adventure in and of itself...


Bad quality photo–but so funny!



Jessica said...

Haha! This is hilarious! Also. I love how much you are blogging lately!

Steff said...

Do you really call him honey sweet cheeks? I think I would throw up if anyone called me that! =P

I have a onesie, but his is pretty sweet!

Sara T. said...

I call him sweet cheeks, but not honey sweet cheeks. I added the honey for fun :)

Mom said...

So funny! I remember hearing something about the Michigan thing, but not the whole story!! Sara, you should videotape some of this stuff and show it to your kids later. It's so hilarious!

Sarah Faria said...

LOVE IT!! Thanks for the laugh! My husband talks in his sleep sometimes too, but I can't tell you what he says, because it contains explicative's that would be inappropriate for the blogging world!

Merry said...

I am in a hotel room, with 3 girls who are asleep (we're at a TESOL conference in New Orleans for 4 days). And I very nearly laughed out loud and woke them all up when I read this! It was a close one.