On Growing A Tiny Human

I've been trying to write this post for months now. I've started multiple times, and can never seem to get past the first paragraph. I want to talk about my experience so far with pregnancy, but also I don't want to sound ungrateful. I've had a pretty rough time growing this little baby boy. In fact it has been the hardest 6 months of my life. I didn't expect that. I wasn't prepared for it...

I guess I should just start from the beginning. The beginning will begin at the point where John and I decided that we were ready to defy mathematics and make 1+1=3. It was after we graduated in 2011. I won't bore you with the details but lets just say that even though we decided that we were ready to make the leap into parenthood, my body wasn't quite so ready.

In the grand scheme of things, we got really lucky. After a year and a half, I was just about ready to give in and seek fertility treatment. Things weren't improving, and I figured the waiting game wasn't going to work. In that year and a half, I had only ovulated twice. But then in June we were blessed with a miracle, and I got that pee stick to read positive! We were ecstatic! My body wasn't a failure after all. :)

I was introduced to morning sickness at about 5 weeks pregnant. It came with a vengeance, and decided to stay. You have to understand, I'm the type of person that will avoid throwing up AT ALL COSTS. It is my least favorite thing in the entire world. So you can imagine the depths of despair I was in when I would throw up anywhere from 1-7 times a day. Force feeding myself, only to lose it 15 minutes later was exhausting. I lost 15 pounds (which is basically 15% of my body weight), and ended up having to go on anti-nausea medication to keep things under control. Even with the medicine, I was throwing up 1-3 times a day, and feeling like I was on the edge of tossing my cookies 24/7.

This continued until about 17 weeks. It got a little better around then, where I would go 4 or 5 days in-between throw ups, but the nausea was still all the time, and I had no appetite whatsoever. This was also the same time that we started feeling our sweet baby boy kick. Since I was basically a skeleton, it was only about a week after I felt him on the inside that we could also feel him on the outside. To actually feel him moving around in there brought me so much comfort, and a renewed sense of determination to keep going.

Long story short, here I am a week away from the 3rd trimester, and I'm just beginning to feel like a real human again. The last three or four days, I've actually been eating normal food. Which includes some meat! I've gained 10 pounds back, so I'm almost back to what I weighed pre-pregnancy. The most I've gone without throwing up is 2 weeks. I can't seem to surpass that number for some reason. But I'm weaning myself off of the anti-nausea meds. Hopefully I'll be off of it in the next couple weeks. I hate having to depend on a prescription to do something as essential as eating...

At 26 weeks, my newest pregnancy symptoms include: messed up thyroid, random episodes of high blood pressure, braxton hicks, round ligament pain, achy hips/back, migraines, and others that don't need to be written about in public. ;)

Is it bad that I really don't like being pregnant? Don't get me wrong, I am so so so so so grateful that I've been given the chance to help create this baby boy. My love for him grows every day, and I know that the second I get to hold him in my arms all of this pain, worry, and sacrifice will seem like nothing. I know it will be worth it. And I know that some women have it so much worse than I have. I just wasn't prepared for how hard it would be. I guess some women's bodies were made to make babies. Others not so much. I wasn't blessed with that coveted pregnancy glow. I'm just rocking the pregnant zombie look.

I'm so excited/terrified to be a mother. I can't wait to see John as a father. It's just such a huge blessing, and I feel ungrateful complaining about pregnancy. But I'm writing this post because the pain isn't something I want to completely forget. It has made me a stronger person, it's brought me closer to my Savior, and I believe it will make motherhood that much sweeter. Those nights when I haven't slept a wink, I will be able to go downstairs and pig out on every delicious thing in the fridge, and I will think, "Hey, this isn't so bad... At least I can eat!"

The moral of the story: Growing a tiny human has been the hardest thing I've ever done. But also it's probably the most worthwhile thing I've ever done.

And I can't end this post without a shout out to my amazing husband. If you were around me at all during those hard months, you know I wasn't a sweet peach to be near. But John helped me through every step of the way. He cooked, he cleaned, he grocery shopped, and he was my shoulder to cry on. He took care of me through it all without complaint, and I honestly don't know if I could have done it without him. I might be the luckiest wife in the whole wide world. He is going to be one great dad!

Most recent photos, taken by Mr. & Mrs. Photography at 24 weeks:


Nate & Gigi

My brother is getting married! And we love his fiance! They are goofballs and we had a lot of fun taking these pictures.


Katie & Ty

Katie is one of my really good friends from work. Isn't she just the cutest!? I think these two deserve Cutest Couple award.

Congratulations on your engagement you two! :)

There were lots of good ones, but here are a few of my favorites:



Truth: I never write anything of substance anymore. The last few months (maybe longer) I have only posted pictures on this little blog. Sometimes I sit down and try to write, but the words don't flow like the use to. I guess it's because I'm out of practice. But the fact that I haven't written in so long sort of makes me sad, because this last year was a great one. All those memories will be forgotten, thanks to this terrible memory of mine.

Truth: My husband is basically an accounting rock star. He interviewed for a few positions at the Utah State Tax Commission that 70-80 other people also interviewed for. And guess who got the job!? Yep. John. Which explains why he is an accounting rock star...

Truth: We are moving. Relocating to smoggy Salt Lake City! In one week! And we are super excited about this new time in our lives. John has 4 classes left to finish his masters, which he can take online. So our schooling days are nearly over, and we'll both be working full-time. Velocity Webworks is going to allow me to continue working (but from home)! Which means we will actually have money to spare! I never thought the day would come...

Lie: I'm not going to miss Southern Utah. Not one bit! That nasty house had mice when we moved in!

Truth: Okay, I actually will miss Southern Utah. A lot. I'll miss our cute little house, and our cute little yard, our garage, BBQ, our ancient oven, and our big old trees. I'll miss the friends that we've made, my co-workers, having putting tournaments in the breezeway, and even the 2 1/2 year old escape artists in our church nursery. I'm definitely going to miss the super mild winters, the palm trees, the red rock mountains, and the beautiful view out our living room window.

Enough with the truth/lies. But seriously, I'm kind of annoyed with myself that I didn't document much of the time we have spent here. So in a lame attempt to make up for it, I took some photos of our cute little home and our cute little yard. Now you can see where we live...d! =)


The Girl Behind The Lens

I don't post photos of myself very often, mostly because I don't have pictures taken of me very often (imagine that!).

This past weekend, my friend Jessica and I decided to go out on a photo adventure, using each other as models. It was soooo much fun, and I think I got the better end of the bargain because Jessica is an amazing photographer. And dang, she made me look pretty good! :)

Show her some love by liking her page on facebook! And you can see some her favorite photos of me here.

The photos below were taken by Jessica and edited by yours truly. Which one is your favorite?

Meet Jessica

This girl is pretty much amazing. She is the design manager at Velocity Webworks (my workplace), and we have become great friends in the time that we've been working together. She started out as a nice co-worker, but now I consider her one of my closest friends.

She's beautiful inside and out. Just look at the evidence below!